• Alice

Feed Your Friendships - Aila Magazine

Updated: May 19, 2020

Written for Aila Magazine @ailamagazine on Instagram

Thinking back over my teenage years, to where I stand now in early adult life, something that stands out is how lucky I am to be surrounded by so many amazing friends. My girls. My confidants. My most fond memories so far are those that I can reminisce on with them.

The nourishment of these female friendships for young girls is something I think is pushed aside; living in the shadow of the dating scene. I can’t actually remember anyone telling me how important my friends would be to me. Right now there are more than 1500 dating apps that exist (Toptal, 2018). We see them advertised all the time and sometimes it can feel like getting that match is the most important thing, and we forget that we actually already have lots of matches, they’re just in a different form.

On top of this, there’s the old cliché of women being catty – probably how the patriarchy wants it right? If we are fighting against each other rather than coming together we are less of a threat. But for me, my female friends, sisters and mum have been the most important part of my growth, with no clichéd cattiness in sight. So if you’re ever feeling like the pressure is on to find ‘the one’, second to spending time with your friends, then remember that it’s NOT, and then these things:

Women are incredible, and to surround yourself with other women, is to surround yourself with strong, inspiring, challenging, funny, compassionate and creative minds. The difference you will feel between romantic relationships and female friendships is the sense of community. Within a group of friends, you will find a strong bond. One where you can lift and encourage each other to be their very best. Enjoy the special camaraderie and sense of belonging that can only be found within the secure network of a group of female friends.

Think about it. When significant things happen to you, what’s the first thing you do? For me, it’s letting my friends in on it. Having them there for a WhatsApp message, phone call or a chat over a drink is a great comfort. Whether we are laughing, celebrating or despairing; what you can always be sure of is that they will be there to listen to the news - good or bad.

Your girls will be your biggest cheerleaders. You will know each other inside out. You can rely on them for advice on everything, however trivial. No question between friends is too big or small. From helping to pick out what to wear, to delving deep into the ins and outs of your cycle, to talking about the same boy again and again because you just aren’t quite over him yet – between friends no stones will go unturned.

As you grow up together, the knowledge you have of each other will keep growing too. For every stone you’ve turned so far has built a solid foundation for a lasting friendship that will only continue to get stronger.

But for this reason you must nourish them. Feed your friendships. Set aside time for them. Pour love and effort into them. Because at the end of the day, those women in your life, they will be the ones who are still there at the end looking back with you and reminiscing.


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